On asking for help
Sunday, April 26th, 2015 23:27![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
laurenthekiwiSome six or so years ago, just after massive upheaval in my life, a man I respect offered me the following advice: learn how to ask for help. At the time, I had no idea what he was talking about. I didn't need help! I was fine! Yeah nah I totally wasn't.
Fast forward three years, I needed help. I'd needed help all along, but it took me a while to ask for it. Having others to shoulder the load made it so much lighter, even if they did nothing but offer moral support and an abundance of hugs. Over the next few years, I thought I'd mastered the art of asking for help. Yeah nah not yet.
Today, I asked for help again. I need a ride to the airport. Most of my friends have already left town, the others don't have cars or I'm too shy to ask directly for fear of putting them under pressure. That didn't stop me from hinting and hoping someone would offer. Yeah nah no joy.
I'm embarrassed to ask for help. I don't like being vulnerable. I'm better than I was; I know better than to hide when I'm helpless. But when I'm kinda able to handle it myself, I don't like imposing my needs on others. I consciously have to remember that people actually like me and want to be involved in my life. That people actually like to help (I know I do, which makes this omission rather selfish, if not hypocritical).
At least four people offered me a ride to the airport. I probably could've avoided asking everyone if I'd asked the guy who offered a ride first. But I asked for help eventually. I'm learning!
Fast forward three years, I needed help. I'd needed help all along, but it took me a while to ask for it. Having others to shoulder the load made it so much lighter, even if they did nothing but offer moral support and an abundance of hugs. Over the next few years, I thought I'd mastered the art of asking for help. Yeah nah not yet.
Today, I asked for help again. I need a ride to the airport. Most of my friends have already left town, the others don't have cars or I'm too shy to ask directly for fear of putting them under pressure. That didn't stop me from hinting and hoping someone would offer. Yeah nah no joy.
I'm embarrassed to ask for help. I don't like being vulnerable. I'm better than I was; I know better than to hide when I'm helpless. But when I'm kinda able to handle it myself, I don't like imposing my needs on others. I consciously have to remember that people actually like me and want to be involved in my life. That people actually like to help (I know I do, which makes this omission rather selfish, if not hypocritical).
At least four people offered me a ride to the airport. I probably could've avoided asking everyone if I'd asked the guy who offered a ride first. But I asked for help eventually. I'm learning!
